In Which Laura Talks About the Nominees
I’ve got things that need to be said. Concise things.
Best picture
“War Horse” - Haven’t seen it, don’t want to till I’ve seen the play, and once I’ve seen the play I’m sure this won’t be able to top it.
“The Artist” - Brilliant. Daring. Yet we do move on from certain styles. We progress. We become better. Why not credit these other films? Ah yes, because at a certain point we progress to “Transformers” where it’s all CGI nonsense.
“Midnight in Paris” - Eh. Don’t get me wrong, very cute movie. But cute sums it up. Still mad it won for screenplay in the globes. I’d have no problem watching it again, I like it, but it’s not award worthy.
“Moneyball” - Oh I really liked this one. But once again it’s a fun movie. It’s in limbo between popcorn sports pic and award winner. I mean, Brad Pitt, it’s hard not to like it. I’d watch it again and again. But it feels lacking.
“The Descendants” - Loved it. Loved it loved it loved it. George Clooney knows how to pick his movies, and damn it, this is up there with Up in the Air for me. I can’t relate to it like I did for Up, but I did love it. Perfect blend of drama and humor, neither is overpowering except where it counts, where you need it. It even makes me put aside my distaste for the actress who plays the older daughter.
“The Tree of Life” - NO. Kevin has convinced me of this. It sounds like some narcissistic “masterpiece,” so self indulgent it loses all meaning. It sounds like “Abed.”
“The Help” - NOOOOOO. At least Tree of Life was made for the awards circuit. This is my least favorite of the bunch. I saw it. It wasn’t cute. It was cutesy. The performances were good and the actresses were good. But trite. Really, really trite. Once I realized there was not even a basis of a true story for it to go on, I’d had it. The pie thing was funny at first, but the more you think about it the stupider it becomes.
“Hugo” - Haven’t seen it but I’ve heard very good things. It’s always nice when a “kids” movie is a genuinely good movie.
“Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close” - I’ve heard bad things about this one. Not sure why it got the nod. I’m always surprised when critically reviled movies get these nods.
Really, can’t we go back to five movies? I thought the purpose of 10 was so an animated movie could get nominated, but now that Toy Story 3 didn’t win, no animated movie ever will.
Best actress
- Glenn Close, “Albert Nobbs”
- Viola Davis, “The Help”
- Rooney Mara, “Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
- Meryl Streep, “The Iron Lady”
- Michelle Williams, “My Week With Marilyn”
I don’t know much about these performances as I haven’t seen any movies save for The Help, and while the actresses are good the material doesn’t make these oscar worthy. Meryl Streep and Glen Close win everything, can’t they just have maxed out? So I’d go for Mara or Williams I guess, having seen neither film!
Best actor
- Demian Bachir, “A Better Life”
- George Clooney, “The Descendants”
- Jean Dujardin, “The Artist”
- Gary Oldman, “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy”
- Brad Pitt, “Moneyball”
God damn it. These are way harder. I’ve seen four of the five. I can’t speak for Bachir, but they’re all quite, quite good. Dujardin, you’ve got to see it. Oldman, wonderful. Pitt, again, great, but I don’t know if this is his best actor role. I’m always going to go for Clooney, let’s be serious. I loved that movie and he really was the force behind it.
Best supporting actress
- Berenice Bejo, “The Artist”
- Jessica Chastain, “The Help”
- Melissa McCarthy, “Bridesmaids”
- Janet McTeer, “Albert Nobbs”
- Octavia Spencer, “The Help”
The Help, again? No. No I told you! But far worse than that is Bridesmaids. I’m sick of all this hype for that movie. It was funny! The Hangover funny! But that means half the time it was pretty stupid funny! NOT OSCAR WORTHY. But hey, at least McCarthy got nominated in the right awards ceremony for this, rather than winning an emmy for a crappy tv show based on this movie. Anywho, haven’t seen Albert Nobbs and I did love The Artist. So there we are. Oh I don’t like their actress picks. No sir.
Best supporting actor
- Kenneth Branagh, “My Week With Marilyn”
- Jonah Hill, “Moneyball”
- Christopher Plummer, “Beginners”
- Nick Nolte, “Warrior”
- Max von Sydow, “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close”
I haven’t seen Marilyn, Warrior, or Extremely, but without question this has to go to Plummer. That movie was beautiful. Don’t know why it didn’t get a best picture nod. Hell, the dog should’ve gotten a nod. It was that great. Again, liked Moneyball, but I just don’t think it’s quite at Oscar level.
Best director
- Michel Hazanavicius, “The Artist”
- Alexander Payne, “The Descendants”
- Martin Scorsese, “Hugo”
- Terrence Malick, “Tree of Life”
- Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris”
This is where it gets tricky. Because I’m not in the business I still don’t have a sense of how much is actor, how much is director, who much is screenwriter, etc. So I say ugh to Malick, boo to Allen (on this one), and god damn it I love Alexander Payne. I loved Sideways. But I’d be cool with any of the first three.
Best original screenplay
- “The Artist”
- “Bridesmaids”
- “Margin Call”
- “Midnight in Paris”
- “A Separation”
Bridesmaids? Margin Call? Midnight in Paris, this might be the only category I’m okay with. But frankly I’d love to see The Artist win. Irony, without words and whatnot.
Best adapted screenplay
- “The Descendants”
- “Hugo”
- “The Ides of March”
- “Moneyball”
- “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy”
Ides of March I wanted to like so, so much. But it was too much, too fast, and way too many clichés. That’s the problem when they take an area and make it mainstream. It doesn’t work for the wonks. Moneyball, again, fun. Tinker was a beautiful movie but I couldn’t keep up with it so it’s not my pick. ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT I WANT THE DESCENDANTS TO WIN? Well, not only did I love the dialogue, but Jim Rash co-wrote it. Dean Pelton. If you saw this movie with me you’ll know that because I wouldn’t shut up about it. I’d love this guy to get a win, everyone who talks about him says he’s just the best.
Best foreign language film
I’ve never heard of any of these. I always feel bad when they pop up because they all seem worthy, because anything in another language feels like it’s better than most of the crap we produce.
Best animated feature
- “A Cat in Paris”
- “Chico & Rita”
- “Kung Fu Panda 2”
- “Puss in Boots”
- “Rango”
Let’s all consider this for a moment. Pixar didn’t get nominated. This is the first time in the history of the category that Pixar didn’t even get nominated, and hence the first time it won’t win. That’s a bit of a slight. I know, I know, Cars 2 wasn’t my favorite either. Frankly I liked it more than Wall-E, but I get why Wall-E was a better movie. You know why I liked Cars 2? MICHAEL CAINE. MICHAEL FREAKING CAINE. Also Avian Bone Syndrome was in it. But, yeah, focusing on Mater might have been a mistake. But, but Eddie Izzard! Anyway, the fact that Kung Fu Panda made it, that Puss in Boots made it, that’s a snub. I don’t know the first two but people seem to go nuts for Rango. So any of them would be fine with me. Just not another goddamn shrek movie. I beg you.
Best animated short film
This is always the time in the awards ceremony where you’re fascinated by the little previews because that’s all you’ve ever seen of these films. And then you ask yourself HOW THE HELL DO I SEE ANIMATED SHORT FILMS EXCEPT IN FRONT OF PIXAR MOVIES? (Those really should get nominated some time).
Best live action short film
Same deal. Where do people go to see these things?
Best art direction
- “The Artist”
- “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2”
- “Hugo”
- “Midnight in Paris”
- “War Horse”
Ah, and Harry Potter emerges onto the scene. Let’s get real. Those Harry Potter movies disappointed everyone. They disappointed fans who didn’t get exactly what the books said (and what their minds created - I am one of these angry people) and they disappointed movie goers because they weren’t great stylistic movies. BECAUSE THEY WERE ADAPTING BOOKS, THEY WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE INCREDIBLE MOVIES. Blah. Anyhow, I don’t know how The Artist doesn’t win for this. Art is in its name!
Best costumes
- “Anonymous”
- “The Artist”
- “Hugo”
- “Jane Eyre”
- “W.E.”
These are where all the other little known movies have a shot. I don’t really care, I’ve only seen The Artist, and god damn if their black and white wasn’t to die for.
Best documentary feature/documentary short subject
And the quest to be able to see nominated movies continues.
Make-up
- “Albert Nobbs”
- “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2”
- “The Iron Lady”
I don’t know, getting rid of a guy’s nose and replacing it with snake slits seems like a bit of a feat.
Original score
- “The Adventures of TinTin”
- “The Artist”
- “Hugo”
- “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy:
- “War Horse”
Well this is the last one I really care about. This is the only one I’m mad Harry Potter isn’t going to win for, or even get nominated for. Alexandre Desplat, I’ll rave about him till my dying day because of this score. He saved the movie for me. He did the last two Potter films and gave them an eerie, terrifying score that they so desperately needed to offset themselves from the cheery fun of the first six books. The seventh book is wildly different and the music rightly reflects that. In fact, when Desplat’s haunting themes (when you hear Lily’s Theme you’ll get goosebumps) are juxtaposed against “Leaving Hogwarts,” my favorite piece from the first film, you feel something far beyond what the actors are saying and what you’re seeing. You’re hearing that first time you saw the first movie, in the theater with your friends, thinking about the rest of the journey that’s yet to come. But now it’s over. It’s a beautiful piece and it always makes me almost cry. I could go on and on. I didn’t care much for the last movie save for Alan Rickman and Desplat. That score. That beautiful score. Point being, all these guys can suck it. But The Artist should probably win.
Original song
- “Man or Muppet”
- “Real in Rio”
Man or Muppet was pretty fun. But I hate the guy from the Big Bang Theory in it. Bummer, they usually have more. They usually have better ones.
Visual effects
- “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2”
- “Hugo”
- “Real Steel”
- “Rise of the Planet of the Apes”
- “Transformers: Dark of the Moon”
I sort of hate this category. Because then things like “Transformers” get to say they were oscar nominated.
There we are folks. Not a bad way to spend half an hour, I suppose.
