The Big Block of Cheese

I Think I Need to Say Goodbye for a (Short) While

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 15:08:23 -0500

I didn’t know I was going to be writing any of this. I was sitting on a blank text post, waiting to write something, when I found myself typing the title. And it feels right.

I got into tumblr in July of 2010 and while I’ve warned of fewer posts over vacations, I’ve never made the choice to leave it. The idea was too absurd. I like to write, a lot, badly, about myself, and here is where I come to do it. It’s also one of those things I check when I wake up, through the day, and go to bed. I’m surrounded by incredible artists and personalities and all around genuine and delightful people (I don’t say much but believe me, I’m in awe of you). Why would I want to give that up?

I don’t. I just think I need to take a little break. I’m going to keep writing and saving posts in word docs, and then I’ll throw them up when I come back. I’m a little concerned at how much trouble I’m having with schoolwork and reading/note taking in general. I’m too defensive of my internet forays to call any of them time wasters. But over the past week I’ve been cutting back on a lot of the things that take time away from things I should be focusing on. So twitter and tumblr are bearing the brunt of this exercise. I know I’m going to miss out on some excellent posts, but I think I have to give this a try.

I honestly don’t expect to be gone for more than a few weeks. I’d guess about a month. All that said, I could end up back here in a few days. But I don’t think so. I’m logging out and staying that way.

So much of what I do online has a Community spin. The two live journals I visit, most of the things on the dashboard, a lot of the people I follow on twitter - because I don’t have Community friends in the “real” world, I’ve found them here (even if it’s just from a weird, silent stalker perspective). But I’ve got to stop putting so much mental energy into this show, at least for right now. With the hiatus, and for a lot of more complicated reasons, many of which have little to do with the show but just enough, I’ve got to separate myself for a little bit.

See you when I see you.

Body Slam

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 23:01:37 -0500

Someone used this expression to talk about Blitzer not letting Gingrich get away with his attacking the media lines. My dad used to body slam me. I didn’t start with that sentence because it sounds like I was abused as a child in a really bizarre way. No, he’d pick me up, spin me around, and then throw me down on the bed. It was like I was doing belly flop, but instead of a painful red stomach I got to bounce up and down on that mattress. God those were fun.

He’d throw all of us kids up and out of the water in the pool on vacation, even when we were “too old for it.” We weren’t ever too old for it.

He let me get snorkeling gear when we were in Hawaii, even though I never went in the ocean with it, I only used it to see around the pristine resort pool. He swam through that stuff with me when I was in middle school.

My parents never forced me to grow up. They encouraged me being me, and I was apparently always 8 years old. In a mature kind of way, I guess. I just liked running around, playing tag, climbing trees, being a kid. It’s exactly what parents should do.

But things weren’t easy in the real world. When I wasn’t in the safety of summer camp or my backyard, when I was in school, I was a fish out of water. I didn’t know how to dress or paint my face up or fix my hair or even act in the bitchy, appropriate way for my age group. On an out of uniform day I went into school wearing a button down shirt stamped with cow skulls. My dad had bought it for me along with a bunch of other western stuff. Perfect for a rodeo, a cookout, a dude ranch, but it made me a laughing stock at school. I chose to wore it, by the way. I saw it in my closet and my gut was that I loved it and I wanted to wear it. But as soon as I got to school and saw the way people were looking at me, I realized my mistake.

My mom would let me be whoever I wanted. So would my dad, but I think a part of me always felt, and continues to feel, that he wanted me to stay young. I was the last one. The last chance. When I grew up it was over. So I aged but didn’t act it or show it. When I did, when I allowed myself to be like everyone else, when I bought a bikini, I regretted it when my dad found out about it. These tendencies to be like girls my own age, whenever I acted upon them I was betraying my true self and my dad. I hated the feeling. I hated squirming around it. I just wanted to be me, and so did my dad, so it was okay, right? It’s why I pushed against clothes and make up for so long. It’s why I resented getting dressed up for fancy dinners and letting Jane put me together. When she made me look the way I should look, it showed that I had the potential, I just didn’t want to act on it.

But I had to grow up. I had to learn how to function as a young woman. And I got a crash course once dad left. Jane taught me everything I know, and after a year or two I was able to put things together myself. It certainly wasn’t an overnight transformation (she’d gotten me good clothes and taught me the beginnings of makeup just when I’d settled on some truly ugly glasses and an awful short haircut) but it happened. Dad not being there, and dad never again meaning what he used to, meant that I could start to reach my potential without regret. Well, there’s always some lingering regret.

He doesn’t comment on it much, but I can tell he knows he’s missed out on that change. I don’t know if he knows it’s largely because of him. Not entirely, but largely. When he comes to visit I genuinely enjoy getting dressed up. I love trying my best to look like Jane. It’s my way of showing what I can be, who I am now, and trying to express what exactly he’s missed. And when you think about it, it’s not at all triumphant. It’s really quite sad.

Who doesn’t want to get thrown out of a pool? Or sit on their dad’s back like a horse? Or get body slammed into the pillows? I’ll take my make up off tonight and want all of that for the moment that I see myself in the mirror.

prettybutt: imaginary triangle I adore this.

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:42:19 -0500

prettybutt:

imaginary triangle

I adore this.

WE ARE A REAL SCHOOL

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 12:46:45 -0500

WE ARE A REAL SCHOOL

In Great News from Last Night: Whitney and Chelsea both got 1.4s.

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 11:44:00 -0500

Happy Hour indeed bitches. Happy hour indeed. Drinks on the Human Beings, eh?

"Australian transport minister Anthony “Albo” Albanese is finding that out the hard way after giving..."

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 17:45:49 -0500

“Australian transport minister Anthony “Albo” Albanese is finding that out the hard way after giving a recent speech directed at his political opponent, Tony Abbott, in which Albanese struck out at his rival using nearly the exact same monologue that Sorkin originally wrote for a scene in which Michael Douglas’ fictional president Andrew Shepherd pauses briefly from trying to bag Annette Bening to make Richard Dreyfuss look like a huge dick.”

- This is a surprisingly apt summary of a movie I used to adore and now go “eh” about.

Day 17 - And We're Back

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 20:07:46 -0500

Banneker Day 9

Good lord, I’ve only been there 9 days? Wild. Well, as you might have surmised, I’m back to interning, and it only took me a week! I was selfish, I didn’t go my first week back. I always amaze the smug, self assured version of myself when things don’t go exactly according to plan and I end up having so much more work to do than I’d planned.

But here we are, back again. Last semester I did two internships which, counting travel time, turned out to be 18 hours out of my week. On Tuesdays I would wake up and go to work for 9, be in the office until 2:30, get to Banneker at 3:15, and work until we were done. After a full day, of, you know, regular job hours, even less, I was, shall we say, eager to wrap up at a reasonable hour. But this semester Banneker is my only internship. Which is why I really don’t mind when we go “long” (as in go until about 6:00). Yeah, it was pitched as a 3:30 - 4:45 gig. But now I’m used to it. Mrs. Brinkman is nice enough to give me the ride to the metro now that it’s dark, and I haven’t been cooped up and crabby for hours before hand. The arrangement just works better now.

There weren’t many kids today (they had an open advisory yesterday where nearly everyone was there and they got a lot done) so I was mostly there to help with the fixes. I’m so glad I’m in a place where I’m useful. That’s what matters, in the end. What’s the point of me being around if I don’t have a purpose?

So I worked with InDesign and layout and made a little graphic (in my signature, Minemal Memento style) for the advice column and helped going over issues with Mrs. Brinkman, Sylvia, and the few kids that were popping in and out.

In the car ride to the metro Mrs. Brinkman told me that the white house correspondents would be coming to the school on February 28th. I told her about the great time I had when they’d come to GW and we settled on talking with the kids the next time about the kinds of questions they should be thinking about. The guys who I saw speak were funny, engaging, and had some great information and anecdotes. Hope these guys get the same kind of stuff.

I was surprised when I realized that I’m the only intern who stuck around. I get it, schedules change, things get harder to plan around. But I’m really glad I’m back. I’m not getting credit and that’s fine, there’s no way that I could. I just like being useful, and being useful in ways that aren’t completely selfish. It’ll be nice meeting the new interns.

In Which Laura Talks About the Nominees

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 12:08:35 -0500

I’ve got things that need to be said. Concise things.

Best picture

“War Horse” - Haven’t seen it, don’t want to till I’ve seen the play, and once I’ve seen the play I’m sure this won’t be able to top it.

“The Artist” - Brilliant. Daring. Yet we do move on from certain styles. We progress. We become better. Why not credit these other films? Ah yes, because at a certain point we progress to “Transformers” where it’s all CGI nonsense.

“Midnight in Paris” - Eh. Don’t get me wrong, very cute movie. But cute sums it up. Still mad it won for screenplay in the globes. I’d have no problem watching it again, I like it, but it’s not award worthy.

“Moneyball” - Oh I really liked this one. But once again it’s a fun movie. It’s in limbo between popcorn sports pic and award winner. I mean, Brad Pitt, it’s hard not to like it. I’d watch it again and again. But it feels lacking.

“The Descendants” - Loved it. Loved it loved it loved it. George Clooney knows how to pick his movies, and damn it, this is up there with Up in the Air for me. I can’t relate to it like I did for Up, but I did love it. Perfect blend of drama and humor, neither is overpowering except where it counts, where you need it. It even makes me put aside my distaste for the actress who plays the older daughter.

“The Tree of Life” - NO. Kevin has convinced me of this. It sounds like some narcissistic “masterpiece,” so self indulgent it loses all meaning. It sounds like “Abed.”

“The Help” - NOOOOOO. At least Tree of Life was made for the awards circuit. This is my least favorite of the bunch. I saw it. It wasn’t cute. It was cutesy. The performances were good and the actresses were good. But trite. Really, really trite. Once I realized there was not even a basis of a true story for it to go on, I’d had it. The pie thing was funny at first, but the more you think about it the stupider it becomes.

“Hugo” - Haven’t seen it but I’ve heard very good things. It’s always nice when a “kids” movie is a genuinely good movie.

“Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close” - I’ve heard bad things about this one. Not sure why it got the nod. I’m always surprised when critically reviled movies get these nods.

Really, can’t we go back to five movies? I thought the purpose of 10 was so an animated movie could get nominated, but now that Toy Story 3 didn’t win, no animated movie ever will.

Best actress

Glenn Close, “Albert Nobbs”
Viola Davis, “The Help”
Rooney Mara, “Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”
Meryl Streep, “The Iron Lady”
Michelle Williams, “My Week With Marilyn”

I don’t know much about these performances as I haven’t seen any movies save for The Help, and while the actresses are good the material doesn’t make these oscar worthy. Meryl Streep and Glen Close win everything, can’t they just have maxed out? So I’d go for Mara or Williams I guess, having seen neither film!

Best actor

Demian Bachir, “A Better Life”
George Clooney, “The Descendants”
Jean Dujardin, “The Artist”
Gary Oldman, “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy”
Brad Pitt, “Moneyball”

God damn it. These are way harder. I’ve seen four of the five. I can’t speak for Bachir, but they’re all quite, quite good. Dujardin, you’ve got to see it. Oldman, wonderful. Pitt, again, great, but I don’t know if this is his best actor role. I’m always going to go for Clooney, let’s be serious. I loved that movie and he really was the force behind it.

Best supporting actress

Berenice Bejo, “The Artist”
Jessica Chastain, “The Help”
Melissa McCarthy, “Bridesmaids”
Janet McTeer, “Albert Nobbs”
Octavia Spencer, “The Help”

The Help, again? No. No I told you! But far worse than that is Bridesmaids. I’m sick of all this hype for that movie. It was funny! The Hangover funny! But that means half the time it was pretty stupid funny! NOT OSCAR WORTHY. But hey, at least McCarthy got nominated in the right awards ceremony for this, rather than winning an emmy for a crappy tv show based on this movie. Anywho, haven’t seen Albert Nobbs and I did love The Artist. So there we are. Oh I don’t like their actress picks. No sir.

Best supporting actor

Kenneth Branagh, “My Week With Marilyn”
Jonah Hill, “Moneyball”
Christopher Plummer, “Beginners”
Nick Nolte, “Warrior”
Max von Sydow, “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close”

I haven’t seen Marilyn, Warrior, or Extremely, but without question this has to go to Plummer. That movie was beautiful. Don’t know why it didn’t get a best picture nod. Hell, the dog should’ve gotten a nod. It was that great. Again, liked Moneyball, but I just don’t think it’s quite at Oscar level.

Best director

Michel Hazanavicius, “The Artist”
Alexander Payne, “The Descendants”
Martin Scorsese, “Hugo”
Terrence Malick, “Tree of Life”
Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris”

This is where it gets tricky. Because I’m not in the business I still don’t have a sense of how much is actor, how much is director, who much is screenwriter, etc. So I say ugh to Malick, boo to Allen (on this one), and god damn it I love Alexander Payne. I loved Sideways. But I’d be cool with any of the first three.

Best original screenplay

“The Artist”
“Bridesmaids”
“Margin Call”
“Midnight in Paris”
“A Separation”

Bridesmaids? Margin Call? Midnight in Paris, this might be the only category I’m okay with. But frankly I’d love to see The Artist win. Irony, without words and whatnot.

Best adapted screenplay

“The Descendants”
“Hugo”
“The Ides of March”
“Moneyball”
“Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy”

Ides of March I wanted to like so, so much. But it was too much, too fast, and way too many clichés. That’s the problem when they take an area and make it mainstream. It doesn’t work for the wonks. Moneyball, again, fun. Tinker was a beautiful movie but I couldn’t keep up with it so it’s not my pick. ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT I WANT THE DESCENDANTS TO WIN? Well, not only did I love the dialogue, but Jim Rash co-wrote it. Dean Pelton. If you saw this movie with me you’ll know that because I wouldn’t shut up about it. I’d love this guy to get a win, everyone who talks about him says he’s just the best.

Best foreign language film

I’ve never heard of any of these. I always feel bad when they pop up because they all seem worthy, because anything in another language feels like it’s better than most of the crap we produce.

Best animated feature

“A Cat in Paris”
“Chico & Rita”
“Kung Fu Panda 2”
“Puss in Boots”
“Rango”

Let’s all consider this for a moment. Pixar didn’t get nominated. This is the first time in the history of the category that Pixar didn’t even get nominated, and hence the first time it won’t win. That’s a bit of a slight. I know, I know, Cars 2 wasn’t my favorite either. Frankly I liked it more than Wall-E, but I get why Wall-E was a better movie. You know why I liked Cars 2? MICHAEL CAINE. MICHAEL FREAKING CAINE. Also Avian Bone Syndrome was in it. But, yeah, focusing on Mater might have been a mistake. But, but Eddie Izzard! Anyway, the fact that Kung Fu Panda made it, that Puss in Boots made it, that’s a snub. I don’t know the first two but people seem to go nuts for Rango. So any of them would be fine with me. Just not another goddamn shrek movie. I beg you.

Best animated short film

This is always the time in the awards ceremony where you’re fascinated by the little previews because that’s all you’ve ever seen of these films. And then you ask yourself HOW THE HELL DO I SEE ANIMATED SHORT FILMS EXCEPT IN FRONT OF PIXAR MOVIES? (Those really should get nominated some time).

Best live action short film

Same deal. Where do people go to see these things?

Best art direction

“The Artist”
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2”
“Hugo”
“Midnight in Paris”
“War Horse”

Ah, and Harry Potter emerges onto the scene. Let’s get real. Those Harry Potter movies disappointed everyone. They disappointed fans who didn’t get exactly what the books said (and what their minds created - I am one of these angry people) and they disappointed movie goers because they weren’t great stylistic movies. BECAUSE THEY WERE ADAPTING BOOKS, THEY WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE INCREDIBLE MOVIES. Blah. Anyhow, I don’t know how The Artist doesn’t win for this. Art is in its name!

Best costumes

“Anonymous”
“The Artist”
“Hugo”
“Jane Eyre”
“W.E.”

These are where all the other little known movies have a shot. I don’t really care, I’ve only seen The Artist, and god damn if their black and white wasn’t to die for.

Best documentary feature/documentary short subject

And the quest to be able to see nominated movies continues.

Make-up

“Albert Nobbs”
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2”
“The Iron Lady”

I don’t know, getting rid of a guy’s nose and replacing it with snake slits seems like a bit of a feat.

Original score

“The Adventures of TinTin”
“The Artist”
“Hugo”
“Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy:
“War Horse”

Well this is the last one I really care about. This is the only one I’m mad Harry Potter isn’t going to win for, or even get nominated for. Alexandre Desplat, I’ll rave about him till my dying day because of this score. He saved the movie for me. He did the last two Potter films and gave them an eerie, terrifying score that they so desperately needed to offset themselves from the cheery fun of the first six books. The seventh book is wildly different and the music rightly reflects that. In fact, when Desplat’s haunting themes (when you hear Lily’s Theme you’ll get goosebumps) are juxtaposed against “Leaving Hogwarts,” my favorite piece from the first film, you feel something far beyond what the actors are saying and what you’re seeing. You’re hearing that first time you saw the first movie, in the theater with your friends, thinking about the rest of the journey that’s yet to come. But now it’s over. It’s a beautiful piece and it always makes me almost cry. I could go on and on. I didn’t care much for the last movie save for Alan Rickman and Desplat. That score. That beautiful score. Point being, all these guys can suck it. But The Artist should probably win.

Original song

“Man or Muppet”
“Real in Rio”

Man or Muppet was pretty fun. But I hate the guy from the Big Bang Theory in it. Bummer, they usually have more. They usually have better ones.

Visual effects

“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2”
“Hugo”
“Real Steel”
“Rise of the Planet of the Apes”
“Transformers: Dark of the Moon”

I sort of hate this category. Because then things like “Transformers” get to say they were oscar nominated.

There we are folks. Not a bad way to spend half an hour, I suppose.

Lost in Translation is the kind of movie that, whenever I think about it, I simultaneously want to...

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 22:50:05 -0500

Lost in Translation is the kind of movie that, whenever I think about it, I simultaneously want to run it on loop for the rest of my life and never watch it again. That’s the trouble with something perfect, I suppose.

Whenever someone's being a real asshole, I find it calming to pretend they are sitcom characters. Kramer was fucking nuts but you always still wanted him around.

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:47:21 -0500

What Home Should Be (Materially)

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 15:31:26 -0500

I moved four times last year. I’ll move three or four times this year. Living in so many relatively similar places allowed me to pick out what really matters in life. Materially, anyway. So without further ado, a list of things I’ll likely require before I can go from calling a place “wherever the hell I live” to “home.”

First, and this is the key, I want nothing more and nothing less than what I need. Whenever I’m struggling my instinct is to go to my room, pull everything out and into the center of it, then systematically put things in their proper places. While I’m doing this, going through everything I own, I realize that there are some things, many things, that I don’t need. That I don’t use. That I don’t care for. And so I remove them. I don’t like having more than I need.

I’d rather have less than more, I think. I’ve always been stingy about buying things. Ever since I was four, when I’d take a week to eat a Hershey bar (in the style of Charlie Buckett) or save my Halloween candy until it was easter, I’ve valued the idea that it’s better to save. So when I’m out shopping I’m rarely suckered by that checkout aisle. I know what I need, I get it, I toy with the idea of picking up a pack of starbursts, and then I snap myself out of it and leave. Because there’s $1.25 more for an airplane ticket, or whatever I’m going to spend all that savings on one day.

So I end up with less than what I want. I like it. I’m used to it. I’m never more upset with myself than when I’ve bought something I know is utterly useless. I want everything to have its purpose. I don’t like waste.

I don’t let myself ever really like my dorm rooms. I admire their design or their location or the architectural aspects of the building, but I never feel any remorse leaving them. They are, by definition, impermanent fixtures in my life. Knowing that from the outset allows me to stave off attachment. I had a nice view, this year and last. I had a nice location, this year and last. I liked the buildings themselves, this year and last. I miss certain aspects of Madison as I’m sure I will Schenley. But I was beyond eager to throw my life back into three suitcases last May. I was ready to leave. I enjoyed not looking back.

This place, this home that I’m looking for, that’s when I’ll let myself get attached again. Not until then. Otherwise my heart’s too easily broken. I wouldn’t sit at my desk back in my new Wisconsin bedroom. I didn’t even like sleeping in my old bed. Too easy to close my eyes and picture being in my old room. Last thing I wanted to do was become attached to another place I, by necessity, have to leave. What’s the point in investing emotion in a place I don’t want to live in rather permanently?

So this home of mine. Forget the psychological nonsense. It’s going to have only what I need, need in my materialistic sense that is so far removed from the actual idea of need. It’s going to be less stark than the dorms I’ve lived in. The dorms I’ve really gone for broke in. I have nothing here. No furniture, no decorations, nothing remotely personal save for the supplies and the books that I’ve deemed essential. What’s the point? It’s only eight months.

It has to have a dishwasher. I don’t use dishes here because I don’t have a dishwasher. I hate the idea of a dirty sponge just lying around, then used to make something supposedly clean. I like clean. I like shining plates stacked up next to stacks of cups and stacks of bowls. Stacks are nice. A dishwasher lets me eat chips out of bowls instead of bags. There’s an OCD comfort in that. Everything in the kitchen becomes clean and ordered with a dishwasher.

Tupperware helps here as well. When we had a mite problem, it was a gross time when you’d be eating your chips and then discover you may or may not have been crunching down on tiny black round insects, we put all of our snacks into large clear containers. It got rid of the mites and it looked like a Martha Stewart magazine. It was everything my sister ever wanted. If we had to have junk food, might as well get rid of the labels and make it look pretty. I liked the look too, not just because it made it seem like we were on the set of a tv show that didn’t want to have to pay for certain brands to be shown on air. It’s better. Getting rid of the packaging makes it about the food being in your world, rather than bringing that brand into the house.

A washer and dryer goes along with the dishwasher. Having one in the room, having one you don’t have to pay for, that’s but a dream come true. Going down to the basement to do laundry means dishing out money and not even being able to put on clothes right of the dryer for your trouble, or else risk being caught by any passerby in the midst of it. I don’t have a particular affinity for doing laundry or the smell of it or anything else girls say, but I love putting neatly folded clothes in their proper place.

The clothes themselves are important. I started doing this over winter break, getting brutal. I have a lot of really lovely clothes. And there are quite a few that are either too big for me, that I don’t wear, that don’t look good on me, or some combination of the bunch. Why pretend? Why not keep the stuff I’ll use and let go of the rest? Why not know what looks good and be more careful buying things next time? When I see how much closet space is filled by clothes I haven’t worn in months, I want to throw things. It gets under my skin. It’s stupid.

Everything at home should have a purpose and rise to the occasion. Everything should have a proper place. When the place is clean there are no piles. Everything in drawers and cupboards and closets is something that I use and use often. The way things are set up will make sense.

I got close to this in the dorm, but not close enough. I refuse to invest in the other things my home needs (a couch, a tv, a good desk, bookshelves, etc.) because I want these things to last. When I finally buy them, I want it to be for home. Until I find home, I’ll be content with not having it all. I’ll make it work. Ultimately, having roommates is a big part of this problem. I can’t have things just the way I like them because everyone needs to be accounted for. It’s not all my space. I literally have dreams about a place all my own. It’s going to be lovely.

There are three more things I’d like. I’d like a fireplace. I like curling up on a couch under a blanket and being warm, certainly next to a fireplace. Who doesn’t like that crackle and that light and that warmth?

I’d also like a porch. Wrap around is ideal, but it could be a normal one. So long as there’s a rocking chair on it, I’d like to read and rock back and forth and pretend I’m Tom Sawyer on a nice hot summer day, blue skies and all. No matter where I’m living, if I have a house with a porch it’ll feel like Hannibal.

Lastly, I want a yard. This is, I guess, for a house. I know most people only get a house when they’re married or at least in a relationship, but I’ve been picturing living alone. This extra stuff is all for a house I suppose, an apartment can’t have a yard. But whenever I get a house, I want one. I want one in back for a grill, a few trees for a hammock (I won’t pretend I’ll ever get my woods back) and a nice picket fence if I have neighbors too close by (I have to be realistic). Out front, I want just enough of a yard so that I don’t necessarily have to talk to people passing by. Again, unrealistic to want that grand field we had in Mequon. So I ask for just enough for distance, and maybe a few trees. Yes. That’d be nice.

Not too much now, is it?

Dear Mrs. My Mom,

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 22:58:44 -0500

School is great. I am learning politics a lot. Please send protein bars.

See you at break!

Laura

Unoriginal

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 19:25:02 -0500

“This movie leans heavy on the back-of-the-head follow-shot, which has become an indie cliché.” - Noel Murray, A.V. Club review of Sundace, Day 2

Huh. I admitted upfront that my “masterpiece” of Intro to Digital Media Production, my Video #3, my Final Project, was heavily influenced by a number of indie films. I knew I couldn’t make a blockbuster and I knew I liked indies, so why not play on their techniques. When you literally have no budget and when you understand the kind of stories they tell (and get that they play best in the short time span of five minutes) it’s the smart thing to do. It happens that it turned out to be the fun thing to do, at least for me.

But as I was reading the A.V. Club reviews of Sundance I came across that line. And I was a bit floored. Everyone - the actors, my teacher, my classmates - everyone liked that shot. Everyone thought that it played well, and even my shaky camera work made sense in portraying the emotional state of the characters. I knew I wasn’t the first to do it. I knew the mockumentary style shows I watch had probably influenced this as well. But I was surprised to read that it had become a cliché.

To be fair, I didn’t just use it to transition. That was a main part of the movie, and I also swapped to walking in front of the characters so we could see their faces. That’s not part of the cliché. I know this reviewer means me no harm, but it stings reading that. As I’m tentatively touching my toe to the water, ever so careful to make the fewest ripples I can in this possible new foray, something like this makes the water chill. If I, with my relatively small exposure to film and television (I’ve taken no classes, had no professional instruction) don’t have my own voice or anything original to offer now, how on earth will I became more unique if I jump into the water and am surrounded by examples to steal, of clichés to overuse.

"You know, I’m gonna go. I don’t want to miss the news."

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 19:49:55 -0500

“You know, I’m gonna go. I don’t want to miss the news.”

- Starburns

I'm Going to Like Creative Writing

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 12:08:02 -0500

I’ve never read much Hemingway. For some reason he was shunted out of high school english books, and Hemingway is so intimidating to me that I wasn’t about to start reading his stuff until I was required to.

For our second class we were asked to read three short stories (what a better way to spend a Friday morning than waking up, showering, and sitting down to read the greats?). One, Bernice Bobs Her Hair, is by Fitzgerald. The title and the author are enough to hook me. I do love Fitzgerald.

Professor Loge, the one I’m in love with, loves Fitzgerald too, but he told us that the writing we turn in for his class should be like Hemingway’s. Short. To the point. It’s practical really. He wants us to be able to produce memos. Two pages maximum. He’s never been asked to make a longer memo. So no fanfare. No pomp. No grand introductions like on any kind of television or Politico story. If there’s something to say, say it.

So there was another reason I was excited to read Hemingway for the first time. The other two stories belonged to him. The first, “A Clean and Well Lighted Place,” was beautiful to be sure, but I know I haven’t understood it the way I should. The second, “Soldier’s Home,” is the reason I’m writing any of this.

I can see everything in it. There’s a young man, hardened but not too hardened by war, come home too late to be a hero, to a quiet town that’s moving on. He sits on the porch reading, eats a sandwich for lunch, walks into town, and enjoys observing the girls with their dutch collars and bobbed hair (how that had changed) walk past, in the sun and in the shade. He wouldn’t mind having a girl, but he doesn’t want the politics of courting and he doesn’t want to talk.

I see all of this. I feel all of this. Perhaps it’s a part of that burning desire for summer, for June and July and August, that is at its strongest in January. But I see a white house in a small town. I see a rap around porch and the chair he sits in reading. I see the girls walking past on the road, passing through the shadows of the trees. I see that perfect blue sky and the clouds drifting ever so slowly across it. I can’t describe it like he did. But if you read that story, you’ll see it. You’ll never be able to forget this place you’ve never been, except you have been there. I want all of it.

I want to sit on that porch and feel the sun and the wind on bare skin and eat a sandwich and watch as people pass through the shade. And if I can do all that with a notebook in my lap and a pen in my hand, writing with a tenth of Hemingway’s skill, that’s all of it.

The Firm kept falling, its 0.9 adults 18-49 rating, was down 10% vs. a 1.0 rating last week.

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 11:46:48 -0500

So, this thing is going to get pulled, right? Right? I mean it’s not fun rooting against a show I have no personal beef with (I’m not going to watch it by I’m not repulsed by it) but, come on. Let’s have Thursday night be Thursday Night comedy done right again.

Little 801 Things: Swapping Starches

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 11:25:33 -0500

True friendship is when you accidentally walk off with your friend’s bread, but your friend says you can keep it.

Holy. Crap. Now I have to wonder why this guy wanted to be...

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 09:42:37 -0500

Holy. Crap. Now I have to wonder why this guy wanted to be President of the Untied States instead of SOUL SINGING SENSATION. It’s a much less reviled career path.

If you needed a reason to fall in love with this guy again, well, this is it.

At this point we should all care much more about The Firm's ratings (especially tonight) but it's always fun to smile demurely at this stuff

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 11:37:00 -0500

In its second week on Wednesday, Whitney plunged 20% vs. last week to a series low 1.6 adults 18-49 rating.. Are You There, Chelsea? had a 1.8 adults 18-49 rating down 22% vs. a 2.3 rating last week.

First Impressions

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 22:05:15 -0500

Every time the semester starts I have the highest of hopes for all my classes. Here is what was supposed to be a quick run down of my five classes. Spoilers, I’m pleased as punch.

Research Methods

This class sounds useful but dry as dust, and no one would take it if it wasn’t required as a part of the SMPA core. It’s important to know but not fun to learn about. Thankfully I think I lucked out with my section and my professor, Abigail Jones. She’s incredibly enthusiastic and keen on making this an enriching experience with guests and quality work. She expects us to be on time and to show up, and to make the effort since she’s clearly doing her part. There are a couple familiar faces and that’s always nice in these small classes.

Political Campaign Advertising

Another small class in the same room as Research Methods, just two hours later. The professor knows his stuff and the work seems very manageable. The one tough part will be the group project, producing our own videos, but it’ll be fine. I’m taking for my major, and it’s one of those classes that I still can’t believe I get to take. The subject’s so specialized to my interests it’s a dream come true. We’re watching ads and figuring out what works. It’s great.

Legislative Politics

This is the second of two upper level Political Science courses I need to take for my major, but I would’ve wanted to take it anyway. I took the Executive Branch counterpart last semester and did very well. The format is incredibly similar and the professor is just as promising. She was quoted in the Onion for lord’s sakes. The funny thing is that the class is in the school of business rather than in Monroe, the poli sci building. I went in starting to look for the room number, and my heart positively sank when I realized that I’d been in 152 before. Oh yes, it was the same room as Consumer Behavior. It’s a gorgeous facility that always has the air conditioning on too high and is filled with terrible associations. When I busted out of that room after my group project I was awash with relief of never having to go back. Well, here I am, sitting in nearly the same spot, but with any luck I’ll be doing much better this time around. This is the kind of course I would’ve wanted to take anyway. I’ll be able to pick apart exactly why congress doesn’t work the way we want it to. I’ll have something of actual substance to contribute to conversations with, say, Uncle Peter.

Creative Writing

This is a class I always wanted to take. I’m not a bad writer and I wish I could’ve done more of this kind of writing rather than the research/college essay based work in high school. It made sense, but this is what I’ve always wanted to work at. And I always assumed it’d be a fun and relatively easy A.

Coming out of this class, I’ve never been more simultaneously terrified and excited. There are about ten sections of this popular class, and if I was taking it how I originally had wanted to, I would’ve probably looked for another section with a teacher who’s not as hard and not looking for much.

But a funny thing happened this break. I realized that telling a story is something I had been good at, but now wanted to be really, really good at. I managed to get off the wait list for a section that fit into my schedule. I committed to making my minor Creative Writing. This professor is exactly the tough, college creative writing professor you’d think of. He curses and knows all of the usual shit we try to pull and he’s safeguarding against it. He’s telling us flat out that he’s asking a lot. It’s going to be incredibly hard and incredibly scary (having the class read through our stories, and for the second half, poems). But I’m no longer looking to coast through this class and snag an A like I’d originally hoped. I want to push myself to the brink with this. I really want an A and I want to go through hell for it. I don’t want to skate by on my own amateur ability. I want to be better, if I’m going to go to USC and if I’m going to try Los Angeles, and this professor seems exactly like the guy who could help me get there.

Funnily enough, he talked about how girls usually write stories that would be perfect for 1950s teen magazine. Glass ceilings are shattered, the women protagonists are successful, but there always ends up being an element of “will he call.” He knows that we make our stories about ourselves and college students are removed from society. We will want to make our stories about feeling and thinking and nothing actually happening. He wants to teach us conflict. He made us sit down and think about using the word “like.” We’re removing ourselves from any kind of responsibilities. We’re not saying we were happy about something, we were simply “like, happy about” something. He wants guys to write about relationships and girls to write action, countering what we usually go for. It’s going to be really hard for me. I’m so used to analyzing and thinking and not writing any action at all. But this is exactly what I need to get going.

Contemporary Political Rhetoric

Holy crap. I’ve never fallen head over heels in love with someone, but I have now. Professor Loge. I thought I knew his name because he was one of those well known professors through SMPA. Wrong. I knew his name because in the summer of 2009, as a part of JSA in Georgetown, we went to the capitol for a couple representatives to talk to us. Steve Kagen of Wisconsin was supposed to be one of them. He couldn’t make it and Peter Loge filled in for him. I fell in love with him there, too. He was talking about health care, what he was working with Kagen, a doctor, on, and he was so practical and upfront about it it was a relief. No grandstanding, no idealism, just the reality of the thing.

I remember looking him up, seeing he worked at GW. That had always been in the back of my mind, I think, that the speaker who blew me away more than any other taught at this school. But an hour before the class I googled him and was knocked off my feet. This was it. He was here. And I had stumbled into taking his class.

He was everything I remembered and more. Glasses, tanned, boyish, energetic while knowing the realities, married, quick with a joke, excellent at telling stories short, interesting, and to the point. Can you blame me for being this much in love with him? We went around the class to start (a small bunch of 15 around a long rectangular table) and said our name, our grade, our major, and where we were from. It got to me and I said Milwaukee. He offered that he worked for Kagen. I was wondering if I was going to tell him this, I hand’t planned to in front of the class, but I decided to go ahead with it. “Yeah, actually I was in a Junior Statesmen thing through Georgetown a couple summers ago and Kagen was supposed to talk to us but he couldn’t make it and you did it instead.” I could feel myself turning positively crimson as I said it because halfway through I start laughing and saying “no kidding.” Maybe it was funny that I remembered, maybe it was funny that we happened to intersect, maybe it was that and everything else. I’m glad he got a kick out of it.

I got wrapped up in the rest of this class. It’s definitely not one I’ll be zoning out of, despite it being two to two and a half hours (he’ll only keep us as long as he wants). He’s done so much. He is Josh Lyman if I’ve ever seen him. He’s a keen political operative and campaigner, and his method for campaigns is downright brilliant. He lives in Adams Morgan with his lefty wife and they drive a Mini Cooper with an Obama bumper sticker. He has all sorts of rich real life examples that I was trying desperately to copy down. This guy is the real deal. I wish we met more than once a week.

Overall

These takeaways are tough, because I’m always optimistic. I have to be. If you can’t be optimistic now, during the honeymoon period, where you haven’t had to actually do anything, then your’e automatically set up for disaster. So it’ll be funny to go back. Genius teachers can always end up as condescending pricks. But that hasn’t been happening lately. I’m not nervous about any of these classes like I was for Consumer Behavior. Creative Writing will undoubtedly be the hardest for me, but I won’t be keen to blow it off and get out like I was with marketing because it’s so important to me. There’s incentive there. Legislative politics has such a similar format as executive and the teacher seems so bright that I’m not worried there. Campaign ads will be fun and should be easy enough. Research methods is certainly doable. And contemporary political rhetoric? Well good god, it’s going to be the most practical class yet. The key, as always, is going to be doing a good job on the reading and participating in class. That’ll set me apart. Creative Writing is the only one with a wildly different format than the rest, but that’s fine. I’m looking forward to this semester. I know it’ll be a ton of work, a lot of hours looking up from books and typing up my notes, but I know I can do that. Here we go.